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Date:2005-08-22 13:40
Subject:
Security:Public

<img src=" http://images.neopets.com/pets/happy/aisha_red_baby.gif Meet my neopet Yahyah</a>

(Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-08-24 20:25
Subject:Anomal space for Rent!
Security:Public

Ok so now I have a new journal.
My new name is:insouciant_mien (here's the address:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/insouciant_mien/)
The look for right now is the same as my old journal, but I just haven't bothered to change things up a bit... I will soon.
So all you guys add me ok!
Helen

(Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-08-21 09:05
Subject:I'm moving! :-D
Security:Public
Mood: blah

Hey you guys,
I'm going to set up a new journal, that's private and friends-only. Guess i'm following the crowd. But I realize that some of what I want to say or need to say, need not be public. So all those that matter with a live journal will definitely be added or emailed about what my new journal name is.
Anyways hasta,
Helen

(5dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-05-26 19:20
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: happy

So i decided to update, let u know how i'm doing, not that it's been so long on anything...
Anyways I did get bumped off at subway, it was an experince, not so much b/c i didn't do a pretty good job, inspite of my lack of know-how, in fact I would say i did a great job in such circumstances.
But anyway whole time i was training manager guy was away on a cruise, but he said he felt that though he didn't give me a fair chance or see me work, he felt that buy the time I had everything I needed to learn ( and boy was their a LOT OF overwhelming CRAP TO LEARN!) I would be going back to school and he wanted someone who would be long time... Well i can't fault him for that it's pratical it makes sense, but I had to tell the man to be straight forward with me, BE HONEST! I mean i kinda got the feeling in the first place that he didn't think it would be in his best interest to hire me, but really guy should have just simply said u're circumstances aren't conducive to this job. U know whatever...not such a whole deal, oh well, I was a little bummed for a bit, but I bounced back later that day... I SHOOK it off!
But anyway so i guess i'm doomed to be a bum the rest of the summer unless I can find a temporary job...doubtful,but here's hoping but oh well, I know ths is slack but just more time for me to paint
Anyway so summer been going great for me, lovin' been at home as always, my little tink tinks (kittens), and my toonk toonks (older cats, [for u guys who don't know my lengo]) are getting so BIG!, so is heather now that I think about it, her baby is due realllllllll soon! that's exciting! ...hey I'm wondering what the jenny's up to, I caught up with some more old friends from high school, david whom I haven't talked to since ....four years ago, and then another friend ,kristen. It was positive, and nostalgic, u sometimes don't realize u miss a person until u talk to them again. heh... that's funny...
Hmmm... I been having the most deep ,imaginative ideas ,inspirations, dreams, and thoughts lately and I thought of typing it right here but i'm tired from my day and i honestly don't have in it me at the moment to type all my meandering musings down, so just really say hey basically to all u guys, i'm doing more or less well, and I love u guys .
leave me some lovin',
helen

(1dance | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-05-13 17:46
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: excited

Ernie's making me some homemade chilli cheese fries!:-D

(1dance | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-05-12 20:51
Subject:update
Security:Public
Mood: Most Awesome!

So my birthday proved to be pretty neat, i didn't do anything majorly out of the ordinary, but nonetheless it was fun. Woke up to mom's fav. memory of me. :-D Hung out at the house for a bit playing the playstation. Onimusha 3! My little brother totally read my mind, i've been waiting forever for that game to come out. So naturally i've been doing some serious playing of the playstation. I was home along till the afternoon, mom and brothers were at school or work. It was really nice being in the house by myself, down time is always enjoyable and freeing I think... u think after all that solitary time i had at school with my own room and all, i'd be sick of the alone time and be lonely.... but I don't know i've always kinda been like this... having mental space, and quiet reflection time has always been important to me... but anyway going off on a tangent... what was i talking about? Ah...yes... the birthday. So yeah, got the birthday calls, from the friends.... the well wishes, and the "happy birthdays" and such... CoughcashsaysIcarecough :-D... anyways I spent the rest of my day with ernie. He brought me a portable cd player, a braclet (oddness, but lovely), and he brough me lunch at the sonic... which i must say was THE HIGHLIGHT of my day, after the seemlingly tortuous months of a diet that consisted mainly of ramen noodles at school. I had the fattiest meal ever! Chilli-cheese fries, cheeseburger, cherry coke, and a strawberry cream pie milkshake ( oooh it had whip cream in it...*drool*) Man I was in delicious fat greasy heaven! That was awesome! I'm still thinking about that meal... i dreammmmmed about it! lol:-D
unfortunately i can't eat like this all summer, or I'll be a chunky monkey, when people see me they'll be like, " Man! That's a whole lot of chick!" lol :-D

So goodnews/badnews.
Good news I got the job at Subway... bad news is since I've never worked at a subway much less a food place in my life, they are going to have to train me and guy is giving me the strong impression that if i don't get it quick then he's bumping me off. He scheduled me for a week, and to quote him " That'll give me time to see if you like me and I like you" so i'm a little nervous.... but blah that manager guy is 10 kinds of shady i think... man He was like
I only like to hire attractive people, u have an attractive face ( he said like 10 times, old dude i hope you're not hitting on me...) He goes on to say how would u like to go to a place and have a ugly fat person serving u... man i couldn't believe he said that.... i don't like him already... But i have a back up plan i'm applying for the child development center at the YMCA, so it would be great if i could work at the child care center.
Anyways i think i have an idea for a painting... and yeah i'll get to the request sarah/ash... call me and we'll talk about it.
ok so my hand's cramping.
bye ;-)

(Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-05-08 10:57
Subject:Yeah home for the summer, and already I type in the journal... don't get use to this ;-)
Security:Public
Mood: content
Music:Black eyed Pea " Bridging the Gap" album

So been home since Thursday night, and I feel awesome!
I want to paint something! I'm ready, for some artistic release... but i have yet to get an inspiration.... Maybe when i talk to some of you guys you can give me some suggestions... I'm open to request for paintings, it'll give me way to release my pent up artistic frustration....inspiration will come to me i'm sure...
funny but i'm still a bit anxious... I wake up feeling like I have to go to class, or finish a project or study... school has got me trained! I think i'm also waiting for the grades, maybe that's it, and i want to start working.....
I have to wait to see the subway guy on monday about startin'( here's hoping he hasn't changed his mind).... Anyways so like I may have another job prospect at Ci-Cis, that's where ernie works. It's a pizza place. I went there yesterday I think, met the manager had a nice friendly chat with him, and I saw a girl from high school, that I knew named Kerisa! We have the same birthday and back in the day in high school, every year we'd write happy birthday in each other's year books... I know lame... But you know, u kinda feel like hey I have a kindered spirit your birthdays the same day.... well maybe not so much...heh:-D but nonetheless that's what we raved about when we saw each other. Plus she knows some girl who works there who's birthday's on May 11th too! these people are coming out the woodwork all of sudden.... ANYWAYS she has a son his birthday is two days later,(may 13th), she's having a birthday party for her and her son this comming weekend... she invited me and ernie, so I think i'll go. ;-)
Anyways enough of that...
So right now just kinda hanging at ernie's house, messin' on his computer to distract myself. His mom's asleep and he's asleep.... ::yawn:: i could actually go to sleep myself! Sleepiness is catching I think...
However his short little redneck father is outside, so he'd probably "kick ernie's ass" (as he always likes to tell ernie... his father kinda reminds me of Red on "That 70's show" lol), and run me home, if he found me in there snoozing....
I'm mucho excited I splurged and brough a bunch cds, mostly because I found out i didn't have to attend summer school, so i could stop being so tight fisted with the moneys ;-)....
Plus i made a mixed cd last night, samples of songs from bands I kinda like. Usually i burn my cds at ernie's house, and we usually named the mixed cd... the last one was " Leap year CD baby!: Ghetto style!" I made that one in Febuary.... and I know the title's weird but I've had this thing about the ghetto here lately.... it was really a joint effort as far as the title... i think it's funny ;-)...
Anyways on the mix cd i made last night
i have some Static X on it, I decided to chunk the shadow zone stuff, and just have a CD that included only select static X songs that I like from their various CDs.I also put some system of a down on it, they are funny as ALL get out! and i love the wide variation of sounds in their songs, plus a lot of the time their songs have a deeper meaning...sometimes anyway. I put some korn on it, cause I doubt i'll ever buy one of their full CDs again, I have some drowning pool, powerman 5000, and seether. So yeah i'm pretty happy with the combination,I made my little brother listen to it with me this morning... I think he was slightly amused, and slighty appalled... heh ;-) He's "in to rap Only" right now, ... I asked him what he particulary liked, I'm thinking when(or if) I start working i'm going to get him some music cds...Anyways so the joint title of my mixed cd is : Estatic System 5000. Yeah cleverness huh? what? more like a bit lame? Heh...:-D
Anyways tired of typing, and I told ernie I would distract myself for a while so as to resist waking him.... but I'm thinking it's time for him to get up and hang out with me for a bit... what do u think?
Hasta

(6dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-05-01 21:02
Subject:Zzzzzz
Security:Public
Mood: sleepy

So i was a good girl today. Most productive. Finished my service learning journal, and my Psych 228 Lab report, turned both those in. So as far as papers and projects I'm done. Now it's time to get on with the major studying! What fun right?
Well I have Philosophy and Math.
Not too worried about Philosophy abstract thinking is my domain.
Math on the other hand is a different stories... sigh... but what can one do. I'll just do 50-11 problems I suppose and call it a day.
I'm so exhausted I woke up mega early this morning busy as an ant...er...bee.
I'm going to take a nap until around 11:00pm.
from 11:00pm-12:00am fill in my philosophy study guide with online material.
then go back to bed.

Man's sarah's missing in action. SARAH WHERE ART THOU! I'm worried about you Freak!


YOu guys my birthday is in 10 days!! May 11th.
I don't know why I'm so excited, I really don't do the birthday thing to a large extent. no birthday cake, no presents...and i'm just getting older. 22 is not a milestone or anything like that....
I don't know, I think the only thing that's really special about my birthday is that my mom has a favorite memory of me that she tells me when i wake up on my birthday. Makes me feel right special it does...
I love her.
I guess seriously birthdays are more special for the parents then u, u know.
anyway time for my nap.
talk at ya later.

(2dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-04-29 14:40
Subject:Helen's Pet Peeves
Security:Public
Mood: slighty amused/slightly peeved

Ok, lately, kinda in general I just think that people suck! I don't know why this mood came over me... but just dealing with different inconsiderate, overdependent, or idiotic people each day tends to skew your perspective a bit. I mean i guess it isn't one thing, or not really one person, just a combination of a whole lot of random offenses.... So i was just thinking to myself, what makes people suck?
So here's a list of my pet peeves in no particular order, kinda as they come to me.

Offense #1
People who Fucking smoke around others
That irritates the hell,THE HELL out of me! If I wanted to smoke I'd fuckin' buy me a pack!
These people contaminate the air;breath their toxins into my lungs. I mean what they hell! Keep that shit to yourself people! Do what you will, but please note smokers, that I actually give a damn about my health, even thought you obviously could care less about yours.
oh and don't let me get started on people who smoke around their children, women who smoke while they're pregnant, or even men who smoke around their pregnant girlfriend/wives (gender equality people)... all I shall say is that is selfish as hell, and its a form of child abuse.

A smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool

yeah makes me a little testy....


Offense #2
People who wallow in their ruts
These are the people who: sit down get comfortable in their rut,get acquainted and make nice with their rut, wallow in it, lie down, and make their home there. Claiming that they hate being in x situation, but yet makes no move whatsoever to help themselves when are their are obvious opportunities to do so.
I understand that certain situations are the result of forces unknown outside oneself, and a lot of times there's not a thing you can do about it.
However, their are certain situation that are solvable, and its just of matter of doing something to assist yourself out of the situation. I can't stand it when people repeatedly over a long period of time come to me just to bitch!
Person for the umpteenth time this month says:So-in-so is doing this to me, but woe is me b/c I'm some helpless moron who's a victim, for I can do nothing but bitch and moan, suffer and take it!
I say:Ok, so this bothers you and u are going to do what about it? what? did u say nothing?

and i always want to say this but never do::What the hell are u coming to me again for, certainly not to just bitch again! Either do something about it or suck that shit up!Geez! all u have to do is.... oh nevermind, suffer, whatever!::

Offense #3
Space Invaders
People screwing around in my hair drives me nuts!I have at least, if not more, 3 feet of personal space.I can not stand when people touch my hair. I hate it, you're invading my space! It's like, WHO TOLD YOU TO TOUCH ME! You may only enter my personal space bubble when I have given u specific permission to do so. A just-barely-acquaintance of mine reached his hand out one day to touch my hair. He stopped mid way. I guess maybe because of the look on my face? Whatever it was, Good boy! I don't know you like that, and I'm glad you realized it before u committed the offense! I know not why it urks me so much. Just not so comfortable...I'm weird about person space.
But please, just don't...


Offense #4
Mind numbingly stupid people
Ever met anyone that just made your brain hurt when they spoke?
Not because they were saying something fascinatingly complex and the effort of trying to understand was straining your mind, but quite quite the opposite ...
In fact the brain strain is a result of your mind not being able to fathom or handle the concept that anyone could be THAT stupid, could actually be dumber than your shoe. Talking to this person is a waste of time ,and you are only dumber as a result of it. It is a terrible terrible thing, when u are forced to be in the company of a stupid person.
Under no circumstances should these people ever reproduce...really. (Note: for more info. on stupid people see Offense#8)
The problem with the world is stupidity. Not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the
safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?


Offense #6
"Thugs on the street who want to get my phone numba"
Granted some of them are nice, rarely cute, but still. Its the ones who you know are stopping anyone that has anything that faintly resembles breast. They're all like "give me your phone number" or "shorty come here."What do you mean come here?! Freak I don't know you!
They get all up on you, breathing down your neck literally, demanding, and insisting that you give them your phone number, tell them your name, or where you're going. Yet AGAIN Invasion of my personal space! What the hell!
Man I have yet discover any way to tell them no nicely, meanly,or straightforwardly that has actually worked. You tell them I have a boyfriend(rather you really do or not), They say,"I'm not even trying to talk to him, I'm trying to talk to you." Ok searching my brain...." I'm in a hurry to get to class/work/I'm meeting someone. They say you can just come and talk for a second, just come over here. Or my favorite you past a group of them on the street, you're trying so hard not to make eye contact. They call after you, "SHORTY, SHORTY." It's kinda like God please don't let them catch up with. Or the ones who need help with something, they ask you a dumb as question just to stall you so they can look down your shirt, get all up breathing in your face and slip in that,"Man you're really smart, you wanted teach me something."
Teach you what?...psh...back up shady thug!
Oh and if you do manage to get across a NO, they start insulting u ;at the same time trying to convince u to let them "talk" to you. Yeah ok, after the shit you just said I'm going to really give you my number...riiight.
I mean I know a brother has to put himself out there if he wants someone...but
Man I don't think picking up random people off the street is necessarily quality. I mean these people will not let you get away until u give them some kind of positive feedback, an exchange of numbers or somethin'! So what is currently most effective is I tell them YOU give me your phone number, and I just never call...heh ;-).


Offense #7
smacking when u eat...
Damn it! just don't do it!
ARRRRRRRGGGGGGH
I hate that crap!

Offense #8
People who are Racist
I'm not going into as long rant as I would want to on this, because if an intelligent person is reading this right now, you should already know the self-evident reasons why racism is based in stupidity and why its wrong.
Personally I feel that racist exhibit symptoms of stupidity....I mean already stated what I thought about stupid people....
Racist are irrational, ignorant,small-minded,and hateful people.
Their basis for disliking another race is not founded in reason.
I mean ever met those rednecks ( i know I'm labling them heh.) That are pimping out in the baggy jeans, nice kicks, maybe a basket ball jersey, and they are listening to hip-hop,rap, r&b, but yet, They hate those niggers?.... Terrible!
Or how about the ones who claim they only dislike certain types of black people, I know a black guy, or I have a black friend. ...
Oh you know a black person? Would you like a cookie?!
I mean really dumbass u do not have to say this for my benefit...

Now you ask how do I encounter this blatantly racist people? Heh... well, true story, I have a number of white friends. Some whom, habitually have me hanging out with their other friends whom they know is racist beforehand. The person will LET you know that these people are racist, and then expect you to make nice with them!
Ok, yeah so I'm in a room full of hate, would anyone like to talk?
I mean if my friends are just trying to parade me around to these people to show them that, well see black people aren't all that bad... THEN JUST DON'T PEOPLE. Because really, I could care less how your friends feel, and they are not worthy of such effort, or acknowledgement... Just quit making me hang around them! ( like I mentioned in my Offense #4. " It's a terrible terrible thing when you're forced to endure stupid people.")
I have zero tolerance for racist people, I kinda resent that some of my friends don't and have the inconsideration to put me in such a position.
I had a black male friend back in the day, we talked for a while, found out he hated white people.(that's ignorant, that's ignorant) He was out the door QUICK! ( that and he habitually kicked cats, damn that guy!).
My feelings on stupidity kinda overlaps with this one.
I can not stress, or emphasize this enough! No tolerance what so ever, for stupidity, or ignoranceI have no respect obviously, for irrational people,or people who have hate in there hearts.
There is just no damn excuse! Some people claimed its a learned behavior, well fine! So it is, but you're a big boy now, can you not think for yourself...oh oh I forgot that's probably beyong your mental capabilities, you being an idiot and all...heh:-D
If you fit under these catergories, I suggest that you not even attempt to talk to me, I have no interest in you or what you may have to say. You're ignorant; I'm not, so what could we possibly have in common?

Never try to reason the PREJUDICE out of a man. It was not reasoned into him,and cannot be reasoned out;PREJUDICEs are what idiots use for reason.

oh, and
I'll be nicer, when you're smarter



Ok here ends my rant, hope you enjoyed my random meanderings

(5dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-04-28 18:45
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: giggly

Go here!
This cracks me up to no end!
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/index.php?e=kittycatdance.wmv

(2dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-04-28 12:27
Subject:Bam!
Security:Public
Mood: accomplished

Last night my body pulled rank and betrayed me! I went to scribble out my philosophy paper with the aspirations of retyping it in the morning.
So it was 12:30am leaning on my side in the bed pencil in hand... NEXT its groggily opening my eyes at 8:00am.
I mean what the hell!
My body totally took over, I don't even freaking remember closing my eyes TO go to sleep.
But u now what, u know what!
Point for Helen!
Cause I totally got up, finished that helliacious Philosophy paper ANYWAYS on time! and I am about to go turn it in. Tell me that's not awesome!

here's an excerpt, true its not all that great, but i guess i did ok.... ::shrugs shrugs::May 4th is almost here! ::HUGE CHEESY GRIN::

Descartes’ Dream Argument says that dreaming and reality is indistinguishable. There is no defining way to differentiate between existent consciousness and a state of slumber; consequently it is rationale for one to doubt the validity of their perceptions of reality external to the mind.

I dreamt that I found myself in this particular place, that I was dressed and seated near the fire, whilst in reality I was lying undressed in bed. At this moment it does indeed seem to me that it is with eyes awake that I am looking at this paper … What happens in sleep does not appear so clear nor distinct as does all this. But in thinking over this I remind myself that on many occasions. I have in sleep been deceived by similar illusions…I see so manifestly that there are no certain indications by which we may clearly distinguish wakefulness from sleep… it is almost capable of persuading me that I now dream (76).

Descartes’ rationale is that he currently seated near the fire in his dressing gown, but in the past he has dreamed that he was in his dressing gown by the fire. He concludes that if he has reason to believe that he may be again dreaming, then he has reason to believe that it may be that it is false that he is truly sitting in the chair. There seems to be no distinguishable indicators between dreaming and awaking. In the past he thought he was awake when he was dreaming before. Therefore, from his these meditations, Descartes ultimately concludes that there are no distinguishable marks between dreaming and awaking, he has a logical reason to believe he is dreaming, and he can not be absolutely certain that he is sitting by the fire in his dressing gown.
  It is true that dreams can have the residual sensations of being awake. However, I assert that we can ascertain whether we are dreaming or awake. At times I may be temporarily deceived by a dream and mistake it for a reality, however when I am not dreaming I know with an absolute certainty that I am awake. As Descartes he himself acknowledged, “What happens in sleep does not appear so clear nor distinct as does all this.”(76) When I am awake I am in fuller control of my cognitive and physical abilities.

When I am dreaming I have limited thought processes, at times it is as if I am almost lead by the dream, or my thoughts that are inducing the dream. At certain moments I reach awareness that I am amidst a dream; that I am dreaming and can only faintly and feebly control some of my actions. When I am awake however, I can analyze, hypothesis, inquiry, and deduce, and I am in full control of my actions and words and thought processes. Reality has a clarity and flexibility that dreaming does not have.

I would propose that during an awakened state that our perception is derived primarily from sensory input, which enables us to ascertain information about current circumstances. While when one is asleep very little if any sensory input is available, instead our dreams are derived from the remains of our memories, thoughts, and other contextual from the contextual experience of our conscious reality.
  Dreaming can be viewed as a typed of perception, maybe even another existence that is created from our internal mind without the influence of sensory input.....

(1dance | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-04-27 08:46
Subject:Ok, here's a gun... somebody please, just, just shoot me now!
Security:Public
Mood: exhausted

Thus far....
Tonight will be yet another unfortunate night of forced sleep deprivation, will the madness not cease!
In other news, Sarah and Ash may visit yet again!
But, everything is getting done that's due Wed. tonight! So there will be no Helen entertainment for them I'm afraid...but i do feel special, they're making the time to visit.;-)

Monday April 26
Edec. 610
*Reflection 1 due: What is culture,What are some cultural experiences that has impacted your life. Consider how culture influences the dynamics of the classroom.
*Reflection 2 due: on visitor from spantanburg learning center
Edec.540
*Naeyc membership proof due.
*description of child case study child

Tuesday April 27
Psych 420: Final Exam
Edec. 540:Attend KDE meeting for class credit @ 7:30.


Wednesday April 28
Edec 610 Final Exam,
Edec 540*Lesson plan
PHIL 102: PHILOSOPHY PAPER Due

Thursday, April 29
*Edec 610-Service Learning journal due

Friday April 30
PSYC 228:lab report due


Monday, May 3 2:00 pm
Math 221 final

Tuesday May 4 9:00 AM
PHIL 102 Final

(Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-04-23 11:16
Subject:It's Sarah-rocks-my-socks- o'clock!
Security:Public
Mood: exuberant

Ok, so I wanted to turn in the service learning journal TODAY! as listed on my to do list for things... However! I did not get to type it out (which i'm going to get down and serious with and turn it in on Monday). It shouldn't take long hopefully. Some personal thoughs and a description of what happened. I'm basically just retyping!
Anyways the distraction was, Ashleigh and Sarah.
They came to visit me and ended of staying the night!
It was awesome!
Man I haven't seen sarah since, earlier this year in october I think, but before that I hadn't seen her since I transferred from Clemson....
and SO! I was happy (:: BIG cheesy grin::)
Sarah's girlfriend is mega cool!( hey! sarah and ash that can be your gimmick, sarah u said u wanted a gimmick, yall can be Mega Cool ashleigh and mega cool sarah! :-D)...anyways!
I really enjoyed Ash, being there with us,very funny girl, refreshing person, an interesting chica.
IT was just so great to see sarah, I have missed her So.
She was, still is, and always a freakin' trip to be around.
I don't know... just YAY!

(3dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-04-22 12:22
Subject:To Julie...
Security:Public
Mood: indifferent

Julie,
Starting to realize how much you hate the notes, so naturally I wrote you another one.:-)
Julie I read your little message on the note I wrote, after u so kindly ripped up my bathroom schedule. (The temper tantrum was unnecessary).
First, I would like to point out that, no I am NOT your mother. You were exactly right when you said that. So I ‘m sure you can understand why (me not being your mother and all) that I don’t appreciate having to clean up after you as if I were your mother. So I’d stop acting like your mother if you dear would stop acting like the child and clean up after yourself.
I don’t think its fair for me and Brooke to shoulder most of the bathroom responsibilities, and I realize as you put it that, “ that shit’s nasty”, it never the less was your turn to clean the bathroom. I suppose if you wouldn’t neglect to clean the bathroom as much as you do, then the bathroom wouldn’t be so nasty! Even if you aren’t here that much, I have noticed that you’re here long enough to fuck up the bathroom as you come and go.
Naturally ,since we have only about two weeks left I really don’t expect this note to inspire you to clean up the bathroom. I just wanted you to know that 1.) It was very unappreciated that you didn’t have the decency or courtesy to help clean a shared living area. 2.) You are a lazy, nasty individual with some filthy and disgusting habits.

Good day:-),
Helen

(3dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-04-22 11:06
Subject:Ok guys, it's time to START prayin'!
Security:Public
Mood: scared

Yeah,so i think they're trying to kill me....definitely a conspiracy.


Friday, April 23
*Edec 610-Service Learning journal due

Monday April 26
Edec. 610
*Final Exam
*Reflection 1 due: What is culture,What are some cultural experiences that has impacted your life. Consider how culture influences the dynamics of the classroom.
*Reflection 2 due: on visitor from spantanburg learning center
Edec.540
*Naeyc membership proof due.
*description of child case study child

Tuesday April 27
Psych 420: Final Exam
PHIL 102: PHILOSOPHY PAPER Due
Edec. 540:Attend KDE meeting for class credit @ 7:30.
Math 221: Math Games due

Wednesday April 28
Edec 540*Lesson plan
Friday April 30
PSYC 228:lab report due

Monday, May 3 2:00 pm
Math 221 final

Tuesday May 4 9:00 AM
PHIL 102 Final

(4dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-04-20 10:47
Subject:Reap the whirlwind! ;-)
Security:Public
Mood: predatory

Ok, so maybe I'm just being anal...
As u guys know I'm living in the dorm. It's suite style, meaning I have to share a bathroom with the two girls on the other side.
ALL year long there's been an issue about the bathroom.
Hair all over the tub, floating to the top out of the drain when one takes a shower. Then the ever so nasty ring around the tub. The icky toilet seat....etc.
I mean girls can be so gross, what happened to the idea that girls were so neat and clean?
I mean I am by no means, an organized person, my room is messy half the time.... BUT BUT
If anything I place most importance on keeping the bathroom clean, and (although I hate it) I am extremely thorough when cleaning out the bathroom. I MEAN you have to be, the bathroom is the germiest place in your living environment!
Anyways at the end of the week the bathroom, supposedly gets cleaned.
Whenever I do have a problem I leave a note, such as (please stop leaving your hair in tub, thanks ). Or something of that nature.
Well there's two girls next door, Julie and Brooke.
Brooke's nice, she leaves her own bathroom notes, and she seems like she's neat and clean individual.
However that Julie girl... she is the culprit. She's the root of all the extreme bathroom evils....
OK, so for two weeks now the bathroom has been crappy, b/c Julie hasn't cleaned it. Well I left one of my grand little notes, saying : Julie it's your turn to clean the bathroom ( going on two weeks now), it would be nice if you actually got around to it in the next couple of days.
Nice enough?
Well, julie leaves a note of her own [naturally] saying:
How about No, you're not my mother blah blah, I have a life, I'm barely here...that's shit's nasty...wonk wonk...
Ok, you know cause that's fine. I personally don't think its fair that I have to keep cleaning up after her, like i'm her mother...
But I'm on top of this situation.
I know you can't make anyone do anything... but I have an idea,... i'm going to deal with her.
If she insist on acting like a bitch,
then she better expect to reap the whirlwind.
We will tangle ass, and
She Will LOSE.:-D
lol
(I know, i'm not being very nice...)
talk to you guys later:-D.

(4dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-04-19 19:04
Subject:My new little man...
Security:Public
Mood: proud

Here's the picture of my nephew Emmanuel. He was born March 6, so he's almost 2 months old. unfortunately he's in the hospital, and they're running test on him to see what the matter is. But i'm optimistic, i think everything will be fine... They've been running 50-11 blood test on him, IVs, and crap, but he's taking it better than I would, he's a little soldier:-D.
I love him already...



(2dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-04-17 18:39
Subject:weekend
Security:Public
Mood: silly

Hey you guys, at home here's some pic. of my weekend, messin' with the digital camera, i suck at photography i found out...I had pictures of my toonks toonks, but they didn't come out so well, does anyone realize how hard it is to take pictures of animals, they are constantly movin'! I have pics. of my nephew, they however, need to get developed which I'm about to go to do right now, so hopefully i can load them to... He's precious.


HEY!
http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/gizmo33/POL_1661.jpg

Here's one of my toonk toonks, He's got the cutest face doesn't he? Unfortunately the others wouldn't sit still long enough to get their pics taken, they kept crawling in my lap. :-D
http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/gizmo33/toonktoonk.jpg

I am the Most Awesome Helen, and this, this is the Most Awesome Heather! Together we are TWO awesome!
http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/gizmo33/heathandme2.jpg

Heather wouldn't let me take a pic. of her in her current pregnant state, so I was allowed to put up a pic. of her at her wedding, 2 years ago(?). She's having another baby in July I'm excited
http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/gizmo33/heathandme1.jpg

This is my dog maggie, isn't she cute... she's still so little, and she already has a second litter
http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/gizmo33/POL_1657.jpg

this is one of the puppies, there's two that look like this one, one boy and one girl
http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/gizmo33/POL_1655.jpg

Look isn't He precious, i wish i got a clearer picture, he's my favorite!
http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/gizmo33/POL_1654.jpg

Here he is again,bitting my jeans, they're teething
http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/gizmo33/POL_1653.jpg

here's all 3,my dad gave the fourth one away:-( http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/gizmo33/POL_1642.jpg

this is my little brother with one of the puppies,
Cameron has electrons, protons AND awesometrons! :-D
http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/gizmo33/POL_1637.jpg

Me again!(obviously right?)
http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/gizmo33/Picture_014.jpg

Man! I look drunk in this picture, I don't know what's up with that!http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/gizmo33/Picture_005.jpg

(5dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-04-16 07:49
Subject:Last time on the Amazing Adventures of the Most Awesome Duo!
Security:Public
Mood: gettin' Crunked!!! lol

Last time on The Amazing Adventures of the Most Awesome Duo, our egomanical hero, The MOST AWESOME Helen, was caught in a most sinster bind! Was she going to make it home?

Neverfear awesomeo fans!
The Most awesome Helen is indeed going home.
What will she do this weekend?

Will our egomaniacal hero,the Most Awesome Helen, beable to get any work done, or will the World's Greatest ERNIES, or the Most Awesome Heather distract her?... toon in next time, same awesomeo time, same awesomeo channel!!....


Peeeeeeeeeace out!

(4dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-04-15 10:30
Subject:Mission: GET HOME! , Plan A
Security:Public
Mood: cheering UP!

Ok, you guys isn't reggie THE greatest? He's actually considering comming to collect me tonight.
Plan A is now officially in motion...
Will our egomaniacal hero,the Most Awesome Helen, make it home tonight?... toon in next time, same awesomeo time, same awesomeo channel!!....

helencthomas25 (10:16:55 AM): reggie
helencthomas25 (10:17:03 AM): u must come get me today!!
helencthomas25 (10:17:07 AM): you MUST YOU MUST!
ChronoZerom (10:18:04 AM): wasup
helencthomas25 (10:18:17 AM): nothing, other than I must get away!
helencthomas25 (10:18:19 AM): come get me!
helencthomas25 (10:18:24 AM): PLEASE!!!!
helencthomas25 (10:18:35 AM): "I'm dying!"
helencthomas25 (10:21:06 AM): regggggie!
ChronoZerom (10:23:10 AM): ill have to see i got to go see my neice and plus i got class tonight
helencthomas25 (10:23:33 AM): you have a niece, how?
helencthomas25 (10:23:39 AM): your sisters?
ChronoZerom (10:23:54 AM): no my oldest brother
helencthomas25 (10:26:19 AM): ah
helencthomas25 (10:26:28 AM): well poo, let me know then
ChronoZerom (10:28:14 AM): whats your number
helencthomas25 (10:28:42 AM): 803-544-1818... I have lab, so call me after 7:45pm
helencthomas25 (10:28:48 AM): but thanks for considering it
ChronoZerom (10:30:48 AM): no prob

(Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-04-15 09:24
Subject:Yeah so here I am...
Security:Public
Mood: you know, whatever

You guys I want to go home this weekend, i haven't been home in almost a month! I know i'm being pathetic, I mean this is my fourth year of college, i should be unfazed by the ungoinghomeness. I should be like yeah, away from the parents!But i'm not i mean
Not only is my mommy there, and my most excellent little brother, gosh... i hate to admit it but.. ernie's there too. Heather,and the crew's all there, odd none of them are in college at the moment... BUT still! I missss them.
What am i going to do when i have to step out into the real world and move away from South Carolina, you secretly wonder?
Suffer I suppose ;-).
But not really sure if i'm going home this weekend. Mom claims she coming to get me, but she's been saying that for the last 3 weeks. LIES ALL LIES....;-) terrible I know. I hate depending on others... one can never get much done that way.
I kinda want to go home tonight if all possible to have at least 2 full days home... but mom hasn't called me this week and I'm getting suspicious I mean that's never a good sign. Usually that means she's avoiding me cause she's decided against coming to pick me up. BOOOO
Maybe if i can get a hold of reggie sometime to day, and be like, "Reggie pleaaaaaaaaaaase! Come and GET ME!, i'm dying here."
And maybe: He'll be like ok.
I'm spoiled. heh
Anyways in other news, there's really not that much. Other than I'm hearing that Ash. and sarah might be taking a trip to columbia next week. I'm hoping they are able to visit. That would be too awesome!
I don't know u guys, But if i do go home, I'm going seriously this time take some digital pictures of my little mookie poops, and my toonk toonks ( WHERE does she get this stuff, you're wondering...LOL, I know I know.) And maybe if u're lucky I'll take a picture of me... and load them on the journal, for all you people who haven't seen me in 50-11 years... or at least it feels that way. ::pouts::
but whatever i'm just rambling cause i'm bored, and i thought i'd put something up here un depressing for all you people who think I'm about to fling myself off the side of a cliff, b/c of my other post. ( silly friends :-D, but i love yall)
anywayS.
hasta

Oh if yall are interested ernie sent me a comic strip he created, they are kinda funny, take a look.

http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/gizmo33/Bigbrother.jpg
http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/gizmo33/shadymen.jpg

(2dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-04-09 22:55
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: sad

As u can obviously tell, i haven't been so inspired to write in my journal.but i'd thought i'd update to give yall something to read...
The year is winding down and its the busiest, most overwhelming, and stressful time. I think i can do it and come out fine, but its going to be rough for the next two weeks and then finals. Gosh it's like somebody shoot me!... or better yet somebody shoot the professors, I mean i think they secretly get together and plot against us, finding the most unusal ways to torture us with exams, papers, last minute notice assignments, and they coincide the tortures to occur all in the same weeks.
I'm kinda bummed right now, yet again i didn't get to go home... but i guess its for the best i mean i seriously wouldn't have been able to concentrate on the vast amount of work i have to do this weekend... I guess there's a silver lining to everything... maybe? probably not, but for right now I want to be positive.... but then there's a lot of other stuff that's contributing to my mental discomfort.
that's all...

(3dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-04-06 17:49
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: frustrated
Music:Proud Mary- Ike and Tina Turner

school is kicking my a$$! someone please put me out of my misery!

(2dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-04-05 12:25
Subject:All you ladies can TOTALLY relate, I know!
Security:Public
Mood: indifferent
Music:Incubus: Morning View

Ok all you girls can relate, that that one time per month is the worst, i refer to it as the "phase red ". I mean u get bloated which is the worst! You have these mad food cravings that results in an insatiable inhalation of fatty foods... like hmmm chocolate.And I'm totally convinced that my body is plotting against me trying to impregnant itself, before its tooooo late!(its definetly the wacking out hormones) Oh! Oh! but oh my God, but the nausea...And then there's the cramps! The mood swings, are absolutely maddening! One moment I'm bouncy off the walls life's great, just fine and dandy you know? And in a split second, suddendly it's like "woe is me for i am in the depths of despair!"
"It's like Why God! Why!, i mean the males are dumber than us, shouldn't they be inflicted or punished with this?!" I am cursed b/c my pms symptoms come two weeks in advance. IN ADVANCE! I mean it faint subtle inklings of the comming doom. And then the next week it's all full force crankyness. And so like i'm this cranky-bloated-hungry creature for at least 1 week! oddly enough during the actual phase, i'm quite mellow and pretty low-key... almost dormant...it just the process leading up to it...booo
what is the sure sign that hey, that the official phase red is coming tommorrow or shortly w/in the next couple of days?
I CRY!
I mean what the freak. Like most of the time, i try my damnest not to cry around others.[if of course there's an actual reason to cry]. That's some embarrassing, vulnerable stuff! And usually I'm good at sucking it up, the only person I can truely cry around with out feeling the full fledge level of discomfort is ernie...
But when I'm pmsing oh no! It's like a free for all!
It's like
"What! Ernie I can't change the channel!"
little sh*t like that...Then here comes the eye leakage.Uncontrollable and unexpected mind u...
It's like every freakin' thing no matter how small or insignificant is magnified times 10! I cry the most, or feel the worst; I have had my most explosive arguments with people during this sensitive period. I mean it sucks ass!
I mean not that people shouldn't take my feelings seriously during that time... really u should! [that would just serve only the purpose of riling me up more... and trust me that seriously wouldn't be in your best interest...]...its just well, give me a couple of days, and you'll find out that though I probably cared on a certain level about whatever the situation was,.... it probably just wasn't all that serious...at least not as earth shattering as I made it out to be at the time...
Best bet people, if you know or have a bad feeling that i'm going through the "phase", just back away slowly, don't make any eye contact, and just to warn you looking at me in a the least bit funny way is definetly a provocation..

(1dance | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-04-02 11:24
Subject:under construction...
Security:Public
Mood: discontent

I have been thinking on this for a long while now, and I realized that i've become a bit depraved, and I have delved,into things that I really shouldn't have. Its very discomforting to take an objective look at yourself and realize that you have gotten so far away, from the good person that you once were.... I mean not to say that I'm not still good in the sense, that I'm kind, compassionate, caring, empathetic, but in the sense that maybe , well not even maybe, but that I do, do things and commit sinful acts that are not in accordance with God and his way... Honestly in recent years I would say that I have really gotten off track and I feel a great need to get back on a firm good footing, with myself and God.
I have so much to work on, and I realized that I have slipped so far down, and that I need to actively take steps to improve, and "quit touching the sinful thing" as the scriptures say.
I honestly don't know where to begin...but I need to do something, b/c I'm not all that comfortable with my past actions, or even some of my current ones.
I think I also need a support system, of people who are true christians in the sense, that they actively apply scriptural knowledge to their lives, and not those annoying supposedly born again fellows...(ha, already being judgemental :-P)
So from here on out I think i'm going to be working on myself, and my life and attempt to get back on the straight and narrow path... It is going to be so difficult and a very gradual process. I'm going to have to put down a lot of my habits, and I would say even some people that are just plain no good... and instead of making decisions based on my own selfish desires, and sinful tendecies, Truely attempt to make my decisions in accordance with God.... this is going to be so hard, so please bear with me and support me... I'm really going to need it....

Seek the LORD while he may be found;call on him while he is near; Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the LORD , and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon; "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,neither are your ways my ways,"declares the LORD;"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.~Isaiah 55:6-9

James 4:8~ .ones indecisive you hearts your purify and, sinners You ,hands your Cleanse.you to close draw will he and,God to close Draw

(2dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-03-31 17:49
Subject:Ernie's like the mack daddy! LOL
Security:Public
Mood: artistic

Lately i've been trying to get ernie, to create a website that's dedicated to his art. I think that would be most awesome! Ernie's like my freakin' hero when it comes to drawing! Guy can draw images out of his head! He's truly talented. He's done some advertising posters for local bands, their cd cover art, t-shirt ideas for these guys who call their brand name twitch, he has a graphic designer friend name ricky(who freakin' has calls him to draw up some ideas for the clientele at work! It's like ricky,dude freakin' do your own homework!
But,Man, it's like fnking magical how you can be like "Ernie draw this, and bam! He produces!"
But anyways, ernie's current style is anime-ish...
Here's one of my favorites along with some ernie commentary! isnt't it great!
http://www.angelfire.com/art/spazco/old/ernie_witch.html
http://www.angelfire.com/art/spazco/old/ernie_girl.html

Here's a picture ernie did of me, as a kitty cat....don't remember why...

click this link

http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/gizmo33/kittycat.jpg

(2dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-03-26 11:45
Subject:blah blah blah...
Security:Public
Mood: dorky

Going home today. On the agenda for this weekend! Going to see my new nephew, Emmanuel, i bet he's cute, I wonder if he looks like us?.... I have four new puppies :-D,my dog is currently at my dads house...so unfortunately i'm making a trip over there... but I miss my maggie and her babies, so its a sacrifice i must make... As always i'm excited to see my toonk toonks (cats). Probably going to hang out w/ the Heather, I miss her, and ernie probably, or whom ever happens to wanna hang out... Plus I have a job interview for subway at 9:00am on saturday. So pray that goes well I need a summer job something fierce, and I don't want to spend my summer, bumming off others. That's not good. But it seems real positive I met the manager before, and he seems like a friendly, easy going sort of man. It's his habit to hire only girls though... to attract business, or maybe he's just sketchy... I don't know....hmmm. I am also going to apply for a job at the cookie place at the mall. I have a friend working there, and she says there should be a position opening up for the summer, and she'll put in a good word for me, which is always helpful... Going to try and hit redbone alley, its a resturant. I don't want to be a waitress per say I'd rather be a host...The person that meets and greets. I think i could handle that. Also of course work work work, and more school work... I can't wait till May...
But i'm really excited to see my nephews, i'm going to try and take some digitals pictures of him, when i go visit, and my puppies too ( yeah i'm crazy about kids and animals:-D) and maybe upload them on the journal so you can see him.... who knows...
u know i'm really enjoying the spring.....
hasta.

(2dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-03-23 10:54
Subject:This is poopy....
Security:Public
Mood: exhausted

Yeah so how was my day, the past two days with no sleep? Well I stayed up all night typing that damned philosophy paper... I found that I am an empress of B.S... Here's an excerpt from my paper... just some food for thought i suppose ;-)

__An unexamined life is a life without reflection or scrutiny of the self or the world The basic framework of beliefs of the masses is a result of the mindless cognitive consumption and assimilation of borrowed ideology, cultural norms, and biases. Many individuals believe that such self-examination or philosophical inquires are inane and insignificant in face of the greater considerations in life, such as survival, the pursuit of wealth, or the pleasurable immediate gratification. The individual assimilates self-serving biases that serve to maintain their narrow inner sanctum of distorted convictions and to preserve the preferred prejudices. Such a perfunctory existence inhibits self-revelation and self-knowledge in favor of the pursuit of a comfortable illusion of the self, and existence. The philosopher Russell alluded to this when he stated:.

The man who has no tincture of philosophy goes through life imprisoned in the prejudices derived from common sense, from the habitual beliefs of his age, or his nation and from convictions, which have grown up in his mind without the co-operation or consent of his deliberate reason. To such a man the world tends to become definite, finite, obvious; …unfamiliar possibilities are contemptuously rejected (38).

__The unexamined life is something that is “ confined.”(38). The individual who lives in a world of unchallenged assumptions, biases, and lies are confined by their obscured narrow perception, and can not connect or explore the possibilities of their true self. Until the individual breaks free and challenges their fabricated reality, they will exist in a pale imitation of life.
__Socrates believed that it was imperative that man gives their “first and greatest care to the improvement” of their souls to achieve a state of virtue (20). This is accomplished through inquiry and examination of the self and the world, in the course of challenging the common ways of thinking, and attaining a deep understanding of the self and its unique purpose. The examined life is characterized as a reflective, introspective existence, which is based on intensive scrutiny of the self and the world in which one lives. Socrates passionately asserted that the unexamined life was not worth living, but why? Some would assert that ignorance is bliss. What is so harmful about living a perfunctory existence that centers around the dominant ideologies of a particular society if it is comfortable and not unpleasant
__When one is living an unexamined life, it is not a free life; one is a slave to their particular cultural or societal design. The individual who uncritically absorbs the beliefs of society is driven to feverishly pursue the satisfaction of subconscious urges (38). Reflexively the individual assimilates himself into the system of things, confined to the choices and beliefs presented by the system.....</font>

(7dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-03-22 00:25
Subject:In the words of the Crocodile hunter. " NOW that's a Mate!"
Security:Public
Mood: touched

I was talking to my friend Deb, online, she's a great friend and I think she's just one of the sweetest persons that I know... She is one of those rare quality individuals that you encounter...So read if u like and let me know if you agree...

Isn't Debbie just the Sweetest! )

(3dances | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)





Date:2004-03-21 14:56
Subject:I watch how the moon sits in the sky in the dark night,shining with the light from the sun...
Security:Public
Mood: aggravated

I've always had a suspicion that I fulfill the role of a... lets say amateur counselor in my circle of friends. My duties include(::poo::):functioning as a crutch,being empathetic and sympathetic to their current plight,doling out advice ;providing a shoulder to cry own, or just listening to various random frustrated ventings.
I mean that's what a friend does, from time to time. I love/care for my friends and various associates, hence enjoy helping them feel better, so I really don't mind,...most of the time anyway.
Honestly, I must admit that the constant empathetic activities causes wear and tear on my person.I have points where I just simply become overwhelmed and mentally exhausted, and I must retreat mentally inside myself, or physically from a particular person or maybe just from everyone for a while... it really just depends.
Sometimes, I may have one particular friend, who for, not weeks, but months on end stays in a perpectual "depths of despair" state. They want you to hold their hand through the whole ordeal and listen to their [seemingly never-ending] woes. I mean I can tolerate alot, and endure with a person.I can be freakishly patient, and understanding and forgiving of a person. So at first it's like "oh poor baby...I'm here...what, no one else will listen? Those heartless beast! Tell Helen all about it" [kinda like ignorantly/obliviously stepping in dog poo deliberately on purpose with bare feet..heh.].
But then after a while, one gets to the point where you know consciously in your head. ::Oh here's so-in-so,(frantically looks around)MUST...ESCAPE..! Oh no i've been spotted, damnit!:: or you get a call and like an idiot didn't check the caller id, and it's so-in-so wanting to talk or for you to come over(where you'll be trapped) and talk(or as a cover up "to come hang out"). Then after that you know you may as well get in a comfortable position b/c well, you're going to be here for hours; the recipient to an onslaught of rapidly mutating emotions...Sometimes I just don't have the heart to push a person person away when they are in a vulnerable,sensitive, and needy state, however...
I find that I have no patience or tolerance with:
People who bitch, but yet make no move to help themselves,(and I don't mean the people who do it just for a little while, b/c everyone needs time to feel what they are feeling, to de-stress, and to deal with and come to terms with their emotions...)I mean the ones who sit down get comfortable in their rut,get acquainted and make nice with their rut, wallow in it, lie down, and make their home there. Claiming that they hate being in x situation, but yet makes no move whatsoever to help themselves [when their are opportunities for them to do so]... they just want to BITCH! and be petted and pitied.
that's not cool... at all
My motto is that if you're not doing anything about it, then inspite of what you might say, you like it!...
I mean sometimes you want to tell the person to suck that shite up!

Is my mental exhaustion showing?... please excuse me :-P.

But going back to the original thought. I have come to the conclusion that i probably only fill that role for a portion of my companions, and that's not healthy or positive for me;friendship is mutual. I mean I have random people that I would call "friends", more probably aqquaintances, that I like well enough, but the only time they and I "hang out" (<--there's that phrase again!) its because they have had some devastating happening occur to them. I listen to them for maybe a couple of days, they feel better, and then i don't seem them again. In relation to those people the relationship is very much one sided, hence I've decided that they are going to be dubbed "patients". I define patients as: those acquaintances, who desire interaction due to some upsetting,disappointing,or traumatic happening, which they want to unload on my person as result of no one else wanting to put of with their...crap.
So, as for the patient population of my group, I've decided that I must do some serious exterminating of these personalities..
Yes... I think that would make me quite happy... :-)

(1dance | Cat! I'm a kitty Cat. And a dance dance, & a dance dance. Cat! I'm a kitty cat!)




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